by a sense of powerlessnes
powerlessness or affability?
weakness or inner beauty?
non-aggressiveness or serenity?
A weakness that forgives,
that pleases to please,
that sacrifices the self of an ego,
the selfless ego?
Or a cloud of hatred,
of trifle anger
that doesnt forgive,
that punishes with
a tool self defeating.
The wrath that bounds back on the perpetrator
that is neither subtle nor discreet
An ocean emptied of water
emptied of life..
Look down at that vast expanse
beneath ur eyes
of the river flowing
not as one but still in a single file
and then it bifurcates
into vein upon vein of
madness jumping to its end
of knived red straight lines on that river ,
that expanse of whiteness.
of criss crosses,
of crossroads to confuse passer-bys
of unloading the burden,
the sediment to be spilled out
the river to be unburdened
or perhaps emptied
the burden loaded on
in a moment of the past
in a loveless adoloscense
of burden carried
in tears frozen in the eyes
becoming diamonds,glass diamonds,fake glass diamonds
that pierce unto blindness
the head bowed in meekness to see only the ground beneath
and feel the sack ,the dangling sack of sword
that holes through amid shreiking winds of despair
of a longing for the look of the sky,of wings,of arms that fly
Of trying to stand up for myself
But still arched,bent over
into a dome of submissivenessload upon load of bodies,
of guilt-ridden glasses of red wine;
of the burden of bricks of faces,
the illusion of walking sticks,
of arms holding me in a cradle
There's no cradle
free me,i cry
give me ur blood to live,i spilled mine
give me ur eyes to see ,i sold mine
give me ur legs to stand,i rusted mine
give me life,i cry
but no-one did
or u did
Still it couldnt be mine
It never could be
dat blood, those eyes, this life
transfused but alien
though cup upon cup did i drink
yet i fell powerless, armless
there never could be a cradle
Little did i realise
the secret of those eyes,those signs
blinded by an indifference,a vacuum of rejection
of escape,of denial
a passive spectator
with eyes that have severed links with the mind
of mind that has broken away from consciousness
dullened into a glass half filled half darkened
In a jungle of fear filled yellow flies
or bulbs of light in bulbs of flowers
fear of getting pricked
of wild animals
of making my presence felt
of making a noise, a squeak,
of fear filled yellow flies.
free me,i cry
there's no one to untie the knots
No one to hear the cries
Make me realise that
there's no one to make me alive.
Make me know,
Make me not hope.
But there's no one to make it known,
No one to help it cure.
That mildew of gloom won't go
It has taken a life of its own
i've lost the tug of war
But i shall rise
from the depths of my macabre grave.
On my own
Someday,i will be Christ..
P.S.- The inspiration for this post was a glance over in which i was the invisible ghost.. And I realised i'm a ghost by choice but i've never wanted to be one..