Lately,i've bin living 2 parallel lives.. or if that sounds too melodramatic,lets say i'm being bombarded with 2 different perspectives -one my own and another- crude in d face perspective thats trying to dominate..
In some dreamland far away,some beautiful princess either locked up in a tower or caught up with cinders or a prince cursed to be a frog or a beast is waiting for some1 to rescue them into a happily ever after..lets look at it that way.. y romanticize when these ideal fairy tales can be pulled down to the crudeness of reality..
What we'll say is that the princess(or the prince) in trouble is just some desperate lazy freak suffering from some famed psychological condition.. and once,we've somehow degraded their existence,just kill their individuality..their claim to fame-their uniqueness.. lets say there are so many more like her(or him).. so many that there's a fully blossomed competitive market for them.. there are so many of the other type-d rescuers and also this type-the rescued.. dat they can be grouped as such by you and I..
In some cartoon strip,a little boy with yellow hair and an appetite for adventure creates for himself a pet , a friend.. cut the romance.. its just a lonely cut off boy who hallucinates to beat his loneliness.. another freak..
Othello.. a jealous lover who should've known b8r than to do wat he did.. abnormal.. unreasonable..
2 lovers who kill themselves thinking the other dead.. coz they cant bear to live without the other? in a shakespeare play it may still be romance,tragedy and perfectly understandable.. but a real life incident like that.. all u'll get is a look of disgust, a tch tch and an exclamation almost caught in the breath-"mad!"
and wen someone takes their life.. and all one thinks is how stupid! how seriously childish and immature!
but only someone who's been thru the maddening turmoil of emotions can understand wat it takes to go to extremes, to burst at seams..
and yet understanding still elicits the same expression of horror.. expresses what evry1 els says for fear of being labelled perhaps
all my life,i've imagined evry single person as the hero/heroine of their own life.. and every such life being different with no scope for different protagonists for
the same story.. Its all a story,isn't it?and even if there are millions of crossroads,those intersections of experiences that invariably would happen through similarities in origin or places experienced or other influences.. despite that,evry person's emotional response wouldnt be something that synchronises with their neighbour,rt?.. that we wouldnt think/act according to whats in,rt?
I'd never imagined reality would be a mass production of stories.. similar in all aspects.. categorised.. labelled and to be sold in bulk..
I'd never imagined i'd let my reality be dominated by this perspective and yet slowly,insidiously it's creeping in to make space for itself..
Yet,treacherously,this new wave of crudeness has been taking away my romanticism.. that indifferent perusal of experiences and incidents and the 'discovery' of links,causes,reasons for every emotional or otherwise response..
Its easier to be crude perhaps and i've become mentally lazy..
or perhaps its too much all around me to not have an influence...
In my romanticism,my whole life is my identity.. there's no definition.. no categorisation.. every moment that changes and dies is a fossil preserved.. and a continuum of all these will define the story.. thre's no objective category into which i can fit seamlessly displaying all characterisitics of that category.. the only categorisation i wuld allow would be purely on physical terms...
But its all changing.. and the theory is being eroded by an onslaught by another funda... identity as a string of keywords that seek to define u.. to know you before meeting you or experiencing u..coz there's no tym to meet,to experience,to analyse.. to wait and get used to some1's presence until one becomes well-versed with their peculiarity..
Every peculiarity also becomes a category to save oneself from the mess of subjectivity..there are just too many people,2 many contacts and hence 2 much organisation,categorisation.....thats perhaps the rationale..
and i cant figure which way is right..my perspective or the other one..so,though the latter has more rationale,the former makes life worthwhile and special..
My first relationship was the first test for the my way.. and the miserable failure has changed a few outlooks ,taken away some of the idealism..For one thing i never could call it a "relationship".. n i could never call the guy a boyfriend..(to myself of course.. As far as the ROW is considered,its like wen in rome do as the romans!!)
y?coz it took away the subjectivity i wanted to be there.. n the subjectivity is there only wen one has an objective definition for ne of those terms one uses without caring what they might mean.. coz wat one experiences -the reality is diffrent from those objective definitions ,its subjective.. it happens in variations,in gradations...so,only if sweetness is defined,one can experience what less sweet or more sweet would be..only wen one has discovered wat it means to be in a "relationship" can one decide whether the other experiences fitted or not....(reason y sweet n cute as most abhorred and most frequently used in slams is coz no1 knows what they define or wat they actually refer to!! ) ..
Notwithstanding my funda,i've still let 'realism' creep in.. now i wouldnt think much before agreeing to some of those frequently used rarely undersood terms..wish i could go bak to that previous state of blissful perusal,adventure and analysis...
wish the world would stop calling b'ful princes or princesses waiting in anticipation as despos..
wish dreaming and thinking wouldnt make one an uncompetitive pariah..